What do you do about TANTRUMS?
Ignore them?
Try to reason with the child?
Lock them in a room?
Punish them after they're done?
They don't happen all that often at our house but sometimes we can produce some real doozies, like right now. An unnamed child is in the living room screaming because I said no more applesauce this morning. So how do you handle fits?
10 comments:
I've noticed with my girls that sometimes they just need to get it all out. I usually let them scream and cry for about 5 or so minutes, then tell them that it's enough and they have 10 sec. to stop. If they choose not to stop, they have to go into their rooms and get the rest of their anger out, but that I'd really like them to... (I usually give them two choices of something so they feel like it was their choice and not yours). Usually mine stop crying and make one of the choices. There have been times when they didn't like any of the choices and continued to cry, so off to their room to finish it.
With Makaya we send her to her room until she's happy, then she's allowed to come out. (this is only if it pertains to something that's not a big deal and she's not in trouble for something--if she's in trouble she has to put her nose on the wall) If she gets really out of hand and flys off the coop, which has happened a lot lately, the lil' diva, she is allowed to some extent to let whatever off her chest, but there is a line I don't let her cross, like yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs at me and kicking and screaming--like she's a "mad" crazy child...then it's at that point she has to lay on her bed, and the longer she acts that way the more toys I take away (that she's grounded from). I really try to make sure that the kiddos feel like they're allowed to express themselves, even if they're mad at us, but there is a line I feel they shouldn't cross, if they're being disrespectful or overly dramatic of their own choosing over nothing (which happens a lot in our house) Anyway, good luck! hope someone has an idea that works for your lil' one(s)! :)
When B pulls stuff like that he gets a warning & if it goes on for much longer he goes straight to time out (where he'll continue to cry but not for long). B is pretty dramatic when he doesn't get his way & boy does he hate time out to he'll usually stop before we get to time out. I'm pretty sure I've got it in for me, he's not even 2 yet. Goodness. Good luck & I'd love to hear what works for you guys - we're always looking for new things to try.
James is starting to act out too. He will flail himself all over the place, throw his head back, make his arms go limp so he slips out of your grasp. I usually put him down and just walk away, give him about 10 minutes to cry it out and come back. If he's still crying he gets sent to his crib for another 10-15 mins. Then if he's still crying, there's usual something wrong, but it rarely gets that far.
I like Erin's method tho.
Yeah, I'm wondering how to handle things with by baby-girl too :) With her being only 14 mo.s, I feel like I've got it coming too. I'm trying time-outs which she doesn't get yet, so for now her time-outs are me holding her firmly in a time-out. But I'm a little fearful of her tantrums, come 2 & 3. I am trying not to 'react' too much either, so that I can help diffuse it better and be a better example, but that is hard when patience is thin. I like Erin's ideas too; my sister-in-law is using the time-outs & choices tactics with her almost 3 year old and it's working well (but she admits he is a pretty good child too). On the other hand, another sister of mine has three kids who are all pistols and I think she's tried everything with them, but some kids just come a little more (or a lot more) intense than others.
Good luck! Let us know how if you find any new and more successful tactics :)
I have no idea what you're talking about :)
Oh wow. I will have to try all of the above. I have a sass-mouth on my hands---any help there? I think I get told "no" more than I say "no"
Dittos to Sarah- I usually try to figure out whats wrong with Jeffrey and give him warnings etc, and if he doesnt stop its straight to his crib. He likes to be there, so he usually calms down pretty quickly, or falls asleep!
My mom used good ol' time-out with us, except for one of my brothers. The only thing that would calm him down was for her to throw him in a cold shower! (clothes on & everything) Afterwards she'd wrap him in a towel and hold him and tell him how much she loved him and then they'd talk. It was the only thing that would calm him down. He used to be such a little monster but now he is the most mellow of all 6 of us kids in the family. Go figure.
Oh - and one day when he was a teenager - we were all eating dinner when out of the blue he says, "I don't like cold showers. I don't know why but I just don't like them." And of course we all busted up laughing because WE knew why!
I'm with Erin. I let Ben do his thing for a few minutes to see if he just needs to get it out of his system. Then, if it's not resolved itself, off to his room he goes. I just make sure his favorite blanket isn't available to him while he's in his room, because that would be like rewarding him. Afterwards, I make sure I take a few minutes to play with him and show him how mom likes to play with happy boys, but the fun turns off when he decides to act out.
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