A post from Dad

One of my good friends, Ben, said that I should post something from Dad's perspective so this is a post from Seth and not Denise and I can pretty much guarantee that it will be random. (All opinions expressed in this post are those of Seth and do not necessarily represent those of the blog owner).

Like Denise, I am extremely thankful for our wonderful kids, especially our newest little monkey, Nash. We are so very blessed to have 4 kids after just 8 years of marriage. Whenever we decide it's time to try to get pregnant, we get pregnant. I am not trying to rub it in anyone's face who struggles or who has struggled to have children. I think that would be one of the hardest things to deal with and my heart goes out to those couples who have that trial. Our trial is not getting pregnant, it's dealing with the kids when we have them.

Parenting is pretty different than I expected. My little brother was born when I was 14 so I experienced a lot of "parenting" as he grew up. I changed diapers, babysat, took him to hang out with my friends and bought him some sweet little Air Jordans. With all of this experience I thought I had a pretty good handle on parenting. I was wrong about a lot of it.


The thing I was most surprised about was how some people treat families out in public. We get some amazing looks while we struggle through stores. Many people are sweet and they comment on how cute our kids are or how blessed we are. Some people are not sweet. Denise almost went to blows with a lady who got frustrated with my kids in the aisle of Walmart because they were not getting out of her way fast enough. Dude you're shopping at Walmart, there's going to be moms with kids who like to save money so deal with it. Denise also tried to get a lady fired at Hobby Lobby when she was rude to our kids after they dinged the bell a few times. Hey, if you don't want us ringing your bell turn around and help us when we ring it the first time. Some people are not trying to be rude, they just make funny comments or ask amusing questions. Below is a list of comments/questions that we get almost every time we go out (followed by what I would like to say in response):

• Wow, are they all yours? (Nope, we stole them from a couple that looks just like us. Did you not notice how all of them are carbon copies of us? Yes they are all ours and we chose to have all of them. And yes we know how contraceptives work.)



• Well you've got quite a handful don't you? (Nope it's easy managing 4 little kids all under 7. Why don't you come over to my house sometime at around 6:00pm to see if we have our hands full)



• Oh, you're little girls must be twins! (Nope, we had them 16 months apart; on purpose. And we had the other two on purpose as well)



• Is this your first time taking that little one out in public? (No, you might be shocked to know when we first brought him "out in public")

I realize that not everyone who makes one of these comments are judging us, but it sure seems like it. (Have you noticed that I have an attitude? Have you asked yourself how Denise can stand being with me? I have asked myself that same question.) I love it when we walk down the aisle in the supermarket and see another mom or dad struggling with their kids. I am not happy for them and I don't judge them, but I am happy to see that we're not the only ones struggling with our kids.

Random thoughts that I have about parenting:

• Denise and I decided early in our parenthood not to hit/spank/slap/punch/kick/etc. our kids.



• I never knew how hard it would be not to hit/spank/slap/punch/kick your kids.



• Sometimes I flick my kids in the mouth when they sass or yell or say something inappropriate. And I justify this as not hitting how?



• Why do kids wake up screaming in the middle of the night? I didn't do that, did I? I thought screaming at night ended when they turn 3.



• Hey McKay when did you decide to get an attitude? You're 6 years old and for the past 5.5 years of your life you were the sweetest thing ever.



• I never knew how much liquid 3 kids could spill. I have to think about "not crying over spilled milk" all of the time and I often fail. Except I don't cry, I yell.



• Don't pray to ask Heavenly Father if you should try to have a baby unless you're ready to have a baby because the answer is almost always "Yes".



• I thought all new parents worried about germs, but Denise and I never really have. There's a list out there about your first baby versus your third. I think one of them talks about sanitizing the binky with the first baby when it falls on the floor versus picking it out of the dirt and putting it back in the third baby's mouth. Well, we've almost never sanitized anything after it falls on the floor and our kids have been very healthy (knock on wood).

I know this post does not hold a candle to my wonderful wife's posts and I promise not to impose on her blog too much in the future. I am very grateful for our life. I have an incredible wife. She is very patient with me. She lets me do pretty much whatever I want. She loves watching sports and cooking and taking care of my kids. She is the greatest wife/mom combo anywhere (no offense to you other mom/wives out there).

And after reading Denise's last post I will plan a nice long nap for her when I get home. Babies are very tiring...

Honesty

Honestly, I absolutely adore my new little guy. I also love my 3 other children. They are precious and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

That being said, I cried this morning when Nash woke up ready to eat, again. I was so tired. It was 6am and it was the third time he was needing to eat since going to bed at 11 last night. I cried, knowing that by the time he was done eating the other 3 would be up and needing their mom. This is what lack of sleep does. It makes you cry when faced with everyday life. A life I have chosen. And a life I love. With sleep. Everything goes better with sleep.

Adages

You know the old adage "if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy?" Well I've decided that's not exactly true or correct. The truth is "if baby ain't sleepin' well, mama ain't sleepin' well and if mama ain't sleepin' well then she's grumpy and so is everyone else!' Maybe that one is just too long to be classified as an adage. But that's the story at our house.

Along with that goes this little "note to self" - although its nice to have a quiet evening where ALL the children are asleep at 8 pm, a newborn who goes to sleep at 8:00 will most likely be up from 12-2. Please remember this for future "quiet" evenings. It's not worth it.

I have debated posting the following picture. It's graphic. It's sad. It will surely be humiliating to my little love bug. And it's how I first fell in love with little Nasherton. Consider yourself warned. Viewer's discretion advised.

Here's another adage for you "a face only a mother could love"

and here's a little something to "cleanse your palette."

Family Friendly Fridays!

Seth's company has one of the best perks ever. If he ever decides it's time to move on I may be in for a rude awakening. His company has this sweet little thing called Family Friendly Fridays - which means they only work half day on Fridays. Not once a month or every other week but every Friday and he doesn't have to work extra hours during the week to "make up" for it. It's so nice. I feel like I get an extra day in my weekend. So Thank You Seth's Work. Thank you for being so kind and considerate and for being smart enough to know that nobody gets anything done the last 3 hours on a Friday anyway.

Our Story

I was almost 27 when I finally found a man that would not only date me but agreed to marry me. Which I realize by normal American standards is not old but I lived in Utah. And, even in the ultra-liberal (ha ha) city of Salt Lake, any unmarried woman over the age of 23 is considered an old maid. Add to that the fact that I had served a mission and therefore bore the unsavory classification of "returned sister missionary" and I was pretty much out of luck.

I dated, very briefly, two different guys from my mission, one guy who knew way too little about football and went on one really bad date with a guy who had a really big head (literally, like the thought now of bearing his children makes me cringe. We nicknamed him Head, pronounced with an Irish accent like Mike Meyers' in So I Married an Ax Murderer.) Other than that I went on very few dates and had even fewer actual relationships.

At 26 I was seriously considering going to law school. I had decided that my life was pretty good. I had great friends. I loved being a legal assistant and my boss had told me if I went to law school he would let me kind of "take over" his practice (at that point I was basically running his practice anyway) so why not make some real money and secure my own future. Especially since it appeared that I would be single forever.

So you can guess what comes next... then I met Seth! Ahhh, so sweet. Not really. Seth was nothing like any of the guys I had dated. (My best friend later pointed out that that was probably a good thing since none of the other guys I had dated had worked out all that well, maybe it was time to try a different kind of guy.) But Seth was young. Over three years younger. The first time we met I told his best friend that he had "nice soccer legs." I'm sure they both thought it was some kind of "line." But really I just appreciate sports and could tell he must be a soccer player with legs like those. I guess I missed the fact that Seth had some nice marathoner legs... or maybe I didn't appreciate marathoning at the time. Along with his age I soon found out that Seth was not only just getting out of a long term relationship but he also had a thing for 18 yr olds (must be a Utah thing.)

So we became good friends. We hung out a lot. Watched sports together. Sat next to each other in church and talked about scriptures and doctrine. We went to football games with our group of friends where he would slyly move away from the young 18 yr old he had invited and stand next to me because her lack of sports knowledge was more annoying than cute. He would ask me about all the new girls in the ward and I would warn him that they weren't quite yet legal so he should wait a few more weeks until they actually graduated from high school. We had a blast together. But we were just friends. He had sworn off sister missionaries and I was determined that if and when I met the right guy he would be graduated and fully ready to support me (financially.) None of this putting my husband through college crap.

Then something happened. It was really all a big misunderstanding. See he put his arm around me at a fireside and then his hand kind of touched mine and I thought "oh, hmmm, he wants to hold my hand. That's weird. But cool." So I let him. His story is I grabbed his hand and he almost had a heart attack. Apparently in the "world of men" holding hands is way more serious than putting your arm around somebody. In fact, you could even kiss a girl and it's possible that it doesn't signify the seriousness that hand holding does. I still think that's the silliest thing I've ever heard but it has been confirmed by other men, so whatever.

After that there was a first date. And then a first kiss (while watching General Conference of all things!) Followed by a very short courtship that almost ended when Seth decided that we should either decide that we were supposed to get married or break up. He had a harder time getting his answer than I did. But then again I was more mature and "in-tune". (Not true. I think I was just more ready to hear the answer, after all I was very nearly an old maid.)

So my thoughts of becoming an attorney were quickly put aside and we started planning a wedding.

Our 8 year anniversary was last week and I've been keenly aware the last few weeks and months that I have so much more than I ever thought I would. I had no idea what an amazing man I was getting. I knew I loved him. I knew we had a lot in common and that we had a lot of fun together. I knew I was definitely marrying "above myself" but I had no idea how much more was in store.

He is my everything, my best friend. I love him more than I ever imagined possible. I could go on and on but I don't want to gag when I proof read this. So that's my version of "Our Story... Thus Far."

THINGS THAT I'M FEELING GOOD ABOUT:

(besides how cute this little guy is!)

I am almost caught up on laundry.

I got a shower before noon. (yesterday I didn't get one at all)

Kimball (5 yrs old) finally went to the dentist for the first time.

I made dinner last night.

I am going to attempt to go to RS tonight.

I have a beautiful little newborn who only wakes up once a night. (not that that has anything to do with me but it still feels good.)

I painted my toe nails.

Mother's Day

I'm typing with a newborn laying in my lap. It's precious and sweet. He is precious and sweet. I could put him down or give him to Seth but I'm loving him. Seth just said "do you want me to take him so you can blog?" Um, no.

Yesterday was an amazing Mother's Day. Not so much because of what happened or what I got or how I was treated, although all those things were pretty awesome too. I just had a sweet day, a day where I really felt like all I do as a mother is so worth it because I have this amazing family and I get to watch these sweet little angels grow up right under my feet, albeit literally. I felt so proud yesterday. Not proud of myself but proud of what I have. (That's OK right, to be proud of the things and people that I am surrounded by? I think it is.)

Nash has been such a blessing. He's really made me stop and think about how fast they grow and how much I miss out on when I spend my days worrying about the "little things." I'm trying to be better about that. So what if the house is a mess all day (I usually try to get it picked up and looking "better" before Seth gets home.) Sitting and reading a book to Luc or watching CakeBoss with Kimball is time well spent. It means more to all of us than a spotless living room.

I have been blessed with really good kids. The older ones have just been amazing with Nash. (can I call 3, 5 and 7 "older ones"?) Kimball holds him for hours everyday and will do anything I ask of her if it in any way benefits her "little buddy". It's so sweet. Luc has a new-found freedom. It's called "doing whatever I want because mom is busy with that new little baby." He loves it. I sit and nurse while I listen to him playing dinosaurs or cars or whatever and his imagination is hilarious. McKay has been a little less affected by him. She loves him but not for as long or as intently as Kimball but she's great with him. She tells us she wants to be a mommy someday but only if she doesn't have to get married or kiss a boy... We'll talk about that one in a few years.

Anyway, I was just feeling extremely blessed and wanted to make sure I put it all down "on paper" lest I forget how amazing my life is. (I might need to come read this after a 3 am feeding when Nash is more awake than he is all day or when Luc screams out nonsense in the middle of the night and can't be consoled. That's when I will need to be reminded that all of this is such a sweet blessing.)

Nash Ryan

These first few pictures are meant to be at the end of this post but I am too tired of trying to move them around. So just pretend. Or don't. Whatever.

Nana Laura and Papa Craig's 21st grandchild!

MY BEAUTIFUL FAMILY! 4 KIDS! WOW. CRAZY.

Just a quick summary of Nash's glorious entrance into our lives

Thursday, April 28, 2011

3:00am - phone rings... seth stares at the phone for 2 full rings until I say "seth either answer it or hand it to me" (he was a little confused.) They (the hospital) tell us that they have room for us and can we come in now.

3:55 am - stop at mcdonalds for a power breakfast but they don't serve breakfast until 4:00am so a cheeseburger will have to do. (note the time, and they had to make our fries and burger, heaven forbid they make a sausage mcmuffin pre-breakfast)

4:05 am - check in and put on the stylish hospital garb then try to nap until they are ready to get this all going.

5:30 am - pitocin started.

6:30 am - water broken.

7:30 am - contractions getting "fun."

8:30 am - EPIDURAL!!! Nothing better. Time to nap.

11:00 am - blood pressure too low (low blood pressure feels SO good, its super relaxing and comfortable to me. I only experience it during labor but I rather enjoy it.) Ephedrin (sp) added to IV cocktail. Racing heart and shaky hands not as relaxing but more productive apparently.

12:20 pm - Dilated to an 8 and sleeping. (like I said "gotta love a good epidural)

12:36 pm - Nash finally arrives! 7lbs 7 oz, 21.5 inches long and SPITTING MAD!

Newborns are not the most beautiful sight but they get cuter and cuter with each minute.

Can you believe I am posting not one but two pictures of me in the hospital... I know pretty brave, huh?

He has such big bright eyes. I wonder if he'll be as serious as he seems right now?

FINALLY! They have been so excited. And they are so good with him. Kimball holds him every chance she can get and will sit there for as long as you'll let her.

Proud Nana... Nash is her lucky number 13!

So there you have it. My beautiful baby is here. He is a sweet little angel. He sleeps a ton and only eats when he is good and ready (every two hours is just not his schedule. More like every 3-4 and sometimes more like 5-6). So far so good. I'll let you know how things are next week when my mom goes home and Seth goes out of town for 3 days. Ugh. I will be strong! Hopefully.