Wednesday

I'm only 22 weeks pregnant.  In my mind that isn't anywhere near half-way.  I know that technically, time wise, it is but the last 3 months seem so long that I'm not going to try to trick myself into thinking that I'm over the hump and closer to the end than the beginning.  Just doesn't work that way for me and pregnancy.  Which is why I am feeling like it is way too early for my back to be aching and my feet to be all swollen and sore at the end of the day.  

Maybe its the age difference.  And by "the age difference" I mean my age difference.  I have hit the summit of the thirties and am most definitely on my way towards the next decade.  

Or perhaps it's the other age difference, that of Nash and Baby Jensen (that's his name by the way, Jensen Bisel Avey).   McKay and Kimball were closer but they were so close that McKay was still a light weight and pretty much just barely toddling around by the time I was "feeling" pregnant with Kimball.  Nash is a full-fledged, running, jumping climbing little man, who also still begs to be held when he tires from the constant go go go.  

Most likely it's a combination of the two.  After whining about my back pain today, my friend told me "you probably need to quit toting him around so much."  I nearly cried.  He's still my baby.  He needs his mama.  I'm not sure what I will do when Jensen starts to grow up and I don't have the reassurance of another one coming to take the place as the baby.  (Because let's be honest, me with 5 kids is hard enough to fathom so we are fairly sure he will be the last).  It will be a sad day and he will probably end up being one spoiled little guy.  

For now I will just be grateful for moments like right now, Nash is sleeping, I am laying flat on my back (with a laptop on my ever growing belly) and Luc and his buddy are outside playing.  Right now at this moment I'm feeling pretty good.