Friday, May 17, 2013

Laundry & Peanut Butter Sandwiches

I'm wondering if its possible that I've been wrong about something. 

Most days I am prone to think that I am the only mother that struggles to keep her house clean. Or the only mother that lets her kids watch more tv than is "acceptable". I am definitely the only mother who goes to bed with my makeup still on (that is if it actually got on in the first place) and with a pile of dishes in the sink. I'm starting to wonder though if maybe just maybe... I'm wrong.

I think it might be possible that a whole bunch of us are all just pretending to be cleaner, smarter, more put together than we really are.  

We know some one's stopping by or our visiting teachers are coming so we quickly move away all the laundry (in my case it gets tossed in my room) and throw on a clean non-spit-up-smelling shirt (probably grabbed out of that basket of laundry which may or may not ever actually get put away) and some lip gloss and act like we've got it all under control.  (Please tell me I'm not the only one!)

My sister (who is, in my mind, the epitome of the "got it all together mom") texted me the other day (a week or so after delivering her 7th baby) her text said "I am such a wreck today, emotional mess, can't stop crying and then I throw my back out which has made it worse!!  What is wrong with me? Oh yeah I just had a baby.  Just needed to vent, don't call me because I won't be able to talk...then to top it all off a friend stopped by to bring a gift and I couldn't hold the tears back, so embarrassing!!"

Embarrassing?  You just gave birth to your 7th child and you are embarrassed because you cried in front of a friend?  I told her thank you.  Thank you for being human.  It's reassuring to a sub par mom like me who feels like I am the only one who has breakdowns.  And at the same time I am going to thank you from that friend, you have no idea how good it must have felt for her to know that her effort to be a good friend was appreciated and more than that... needed.  It also must have in a small little non-judgmental way felt good to know that you aren't as perfect as she thought you were.


I in turn thank my friends who allow me to see their houses in a state of disarray.  It is so comforting.  I promise I'm not judging you, after all I am a woman, so I am judging myself and knowing that your kids make messes that you can't keep up with makes me feel just a tad bit better about me.


I am not going to stop trying to be a better mother, wife, housekeeper, cook, etc, etc.  I feel like that's what life is all about, improving ourselves, getting just a little better every day.  But I am committing myself to stop believing that I am the only one who isn't 100% successful just yet.  I am going to stop comparing myself (and my house) to my friend who has 2 kids (both in school) and a housekeeper.  My house will never look like hers.  And that is just fine.  I may still clean up a bit if someone is coming over but don't be surprised if you show up and there is laundry in baskets in the living room (or even just dumped on the couch waiting to be folded).  This is my life right now.  And I love it.  Even with the piles of laundry and half-eaten peanut butter sandwiches!

8 comments:

Erin said...

Loved this post, Denise! I used to think the same way only that I felt I was the only mother who got frustrated with her kids. I finally figured out that Heavenly Father gives all mothers challenges to help them grow and learn. I'm extremely grateful for my challenges.

Although I would love a spotless house all the time, I've finally learned that it's just not possible and that's ok!

Thanks for your post! It was a good reminder for me of a lot of things!

Leah said...

Thank you thank you thank you for this post. I have been weepy all morning and the tv just got turned off (nap time. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one.

Anonymous said...

loved it, you are not the only one, we all do pretend to be more together than we are!

Hans and Chelsey said...

You don't know me but I love your thoughts. Thank you

Hans and Chelsey said...

You don't know me but I love your thoughts. Thank you

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Unknown said...

Hi there! I stumbled upon your blog and really loved this post. So true! I feel the same way, most days, and I only have 1 child! Thanks so much for sharing.

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