05/06/2014 Handling the Chaos

I have started like 7 posts in the last few weeks.  Apparently I am lacking the creative juices necessary to post an update on our crazy chaotic life.  Our family life is a bit overwhelming.  Not in a bad way.  Just in a "we have 5 kids under the age of 10 way".  I love my kiddos.  They are amazing in so many ways.  If I take the time to sit back and just think about how awesome they each are I am overwhelmed with the happiness and joy they bring into our lives.  The problem is finding/making the time to just sit back and ponder on those things and the ensuing disaster that will inevitably be awaiting me if I do.

People count my kids.  Constantly.  Whenever we go out in public as a family I catch people counting them.  And then they look at me and say things like "wow you have your hands full" or "are they all yours?"  It used to bother me.  Now I love it.  I love that people get to see what/who I am just by watching me walk by with my kids.  I am a mom.  It is my chosen profession and I love it.  Now lets get real, there are a plethora of moments everyday that I don't particularly like.  I don't love that I pee with an audience.  I don't love that I sweep my floor 3 times a day and it still looks like a heard of dirty elephants just ran through.  I don't love that the laundry NEVER ends.  But it is what I have chosen and I would choose it again and again.

A good friend once told me "you guys handle the chaos well."  I've embraced that as my mantra.  Handling the chaos is what we do.  My floors don't sparkle, my sink is often full of dishes, Nash and Jensen sometimes stay in pjs until well after noon and when we're all here in our humble (little) house it's LOUD and it's pretty darn chaotic but it's home and we handle it fairly well most of the time.

After each pregnancy/new baby I have felt very strongly that I wasn't done... until Jensen.  Jensen felt like my last pregnancy and delivery.  He has felt like a sort of completion to our family.  Five seems like the right number.  I'm not ruling out some future impression/prompting telling us that there is one more but I would be shocked by it because I just don't have that urge like I've had in the past.

That being said, I LOVE babies.  I love holding them.  I love the sweet spirit they bring into our home.  I love the way my kids fawn over them and are just a little sweeter when there's a little one in our house.  So I've always known that if I could I would want to love on other peoples' babies if at all possible.  Seth is such a good husband.  He listens to me and (usually) supports me in my crazy ideas.  A few years ago it was the idea to have exchange students now it's foster care.

There I said it.  We are in the process of becoming licensed foster parents.  I know what you're thinking... You are out of your mind!!!  How can you possibly do one more, you can barely handle the 5 you have?  I know, I know.  We are crazy.  Just know we have prayed about this, A LOT.  We know it's what we're supposed to be doing.

There are little babies out there who's parents are struggling.  I mean really really struggling.  They need help.  I might not have a perfect house or a perfect family but we can love these babies.  I can hold them.  I can wake up in the middle of the night and feed them a bottle.  I can change diapers (heaven knows I can change diapers!)  I can do all of that.  We know this isn't going to be easy.  We know it's going to be really really hard.  Heck just the process to get licensed has been a serious challenge.  But through a lot of prayer we've come to realize we need to do this.  And we need to do it now.

We will only be taking one child at a time and specifically a baby. Our first placement should happen sometime in aug or sept after we finish our 30 hours of training and mountain of paperwork.

So our life is about to get even more chaotic.  And hopefully we will "handle it well."